This post is potentially the hardest one I have ever had to sit down to write, but I feel like our successes it is important that we also highlight when we fall short, I don’t like to use the word failure because it seems to have a permanent connotation that just doesn’t vibe with me.
Let’s start from the beginning, going into medicine has always been a dream of mine, but growing up in a Middle Eastern society I was reminded that it might not be the greatest idea especially if I wanted kids and a family. Flash forward 24 years, I’m married with a child living to what many appears the ideal life, but the dreams and goals I set for myself remained, I just couldn’t settle into being a person limited to 9-5 for a corporation, to come home get dinner on the table, put my son to sleep and do it all over again. I wanted to do what set my soul on fire, I wanted to combine my love of science, my passion for helping others and my leadership skills that I had spent years building to make something of myself for myself. Cue the decision to go back to school, to this day I believe it was the best decision I had ever made because it was truly one I made for myself.
Two years later I have completed all the coursework checked off all the requirements and submitted my application. In that time frame I had grown so much and changed in ways I never saw possible, I began to see myself more and more as a doctor and it wasn’t just a dream anymore, I was working towards making it my reality. Unfortunately for me, January 1, 2018 at 9:34 am I received my rejection. The term disappointed and gutted could not even cover what I felt. The reality is the program that I want to get into is competitive and theres still so much more I can do to make my application stronger, but even knowing that I still felt like I had been hit by a tonne of bricks.
Why am I sharing this, honestly its because if anyone out there is going through the same thing I want you to know you aren’t alone!! Later on in the week I’ll write about my next steps, but right now I think is important to let myself be sad, and work through those emotions my own way before setting up a new game plan.
It’s always good to remember failure is not fatal and success is not final, we need to take it one day at a time!!
Keep smiling (even on the days you find it hard to)